I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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