I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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