They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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