Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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