im drinking this country out of the recession.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
