Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
