i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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