I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
