I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
