erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
