I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
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