Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
please come you make the beer taste better
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
