he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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