last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
