brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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