The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
