are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize