there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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