Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
