I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
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