you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
