He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
