the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
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