kristin has been a bad kristin
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize