that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
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