I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
