it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
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