Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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