i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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