quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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