I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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