We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
