Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
