im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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