Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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