exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
