she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
