I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
