Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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