everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
