It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
