blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
