i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
