3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I just had sex on a roof
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
