I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
