oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
