If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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