If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
