I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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