their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
