i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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