last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize