i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
