I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize