After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
