I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize
