Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
