I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
It's shark week go big or go home
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
