ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
