ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Randomize
