No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
She is in my trunk
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
