dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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