K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
